The Small Bar That Changed How I Leave the Car

Getting out of the car is the part of the errand I used to dread most. Anyone with a leg that does not quite do what it is told knows the moment: you have parked, you are proud of yourself for parking, and then you have to get out without lurching into the door or grabbing the person next to you. I have relapsing-remitting MS, and my left leg is the unreliable one. Fourteen years in, I have learned to plan around almost everything. The car door still caught me off guard every single time.

What I tried before the Stander HandyBar: gripping the door frame, which pulled on my shoulder and never felt solid; swinging both legs out at once, which looked athletic and felt foolish; and asking Rob to come around and give me a hand, which worked but turned a two-minute errand into a negotiation. The door frame was the worst. You would think it would be stable. It is not, not when you are pulling sideways against your own weight. I had started to avoid places with tight parking spots, which is a strange way to live.

Then a friend who had knee surgery lent me her Stander HandyBar for a week. It is a small metal bar that hooks into the U-shaped latch on the car door frame, the same little loop the door clicks into when it closes. You seat it, pull down on it, and it gives you something solid to lever against. The first time I used it, I got out of the car without touching the door frame at all. I sat back down and did it again, just to be sure.

I bought one before the week was over. That was six months ago, and it has lived in the door pocket of our 2019 Honda CR-V ever since. I do not say that about much. Most gadgets in this house get used twice and then live in a drawer. This one earns its place every day, on good days and bad.

The first time I used it, I got out of the car without touching the door frame at all.

What It Actually Does

Here is how it works, because I did not believe it until I tried it. The bar has a hook at one end that fits over the latch striker, the metal loop on the door pillar. Once it is seated, you have a handle at about hip height that does not move. You grip it, pull your weight forward and up, and your feet do the rest. On a good day it is a convenience. On a bad day, when my left leg is barely listening, it is the difference between getting out gracefully and getting out like a sack of potatoes. I have done both in the same parking lot.

The things that surprised me: it is portable, so it goes with you. I have used it in a rental car and in my sister's car when she drove me to an appointment. It takes about five seconds to seat and about two to remove. The grip is padded and non-slip, which matters when your hands are tired. And it has a window breaker and a seat belt cutter built into the handle. I have never needed either. I am glad they are there, the way I am glad the spare tire is in the trunk.

Rob does not need the bar. He uses it anyway when his hands are full of groceries, which tells me something. It is not really a mobility aid in the way people mean the word. It is just a good handle, and a good handle happens to help people like me the most.

The honest cons: it takes two hands to seat it, so you will want to do it before you are already half out of the car. And on my worst days I still ask Rob for his arm. The Stander HandyBar is not a substitute for a person. It is a substitute for the door frame, which is exactly what I needed. The only other thing that annoys me is remembering to bring it inside when I want to show someone, because it lives in the car. That is a short list of complaints for me.

The quiet part: Penny, our beagle mix, is the reason I get outside every morning, and the car is how I get anywhere beyond the block. A bar that makes the car easier makes the rest of the day easier. I do not think about my left leg when I reach for it anymore. I just reach, and it is there, and I am out of the car and on with the day.

What I'd Tell You If We Were Sitting at My Kitchen Table

I would tell you that the Stander HandyBar is a tool, not a cure, and that is why I trust it. No piece of equipment is going to change what MS does on a bad day. But a small piece of equipment that takes one hard moment out of your day is worth trying. If you are shopping for a parent, this is a low-risk thing to hand them. If you are shopping for yourself and you have ever braced a hand against a door frame and wished it were closer, this is that wish, answered. Ask your physical therapist whether pulling against a fixed handle is right for your grip and your balance. For me, it is. And the window breaker and seat belt cutter mean I never wonder whether I could get out if I needed to in a hurry, which is a quieter kind of relief.